It feels safe to say that 2020 has been a challenging year for most. For me, it is a year where nothing seems to have happened and where everything has happened.
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After another night with only a few hours of sleep, I am in front of my computer preparing for my day. I am in the basement. It’s dark and cold. I feel tired.
Doubting is normal.
Uncomfortable as it can be, wondering whether we really have “got it right” is as human as it is inevitable, especially when we’re swimming each day in a sea of different beliefs.
Last November on my husband’s birthday, I half-jokingly declared the coming year would be “the best year of his life.” Clearly, I had no clue what 2020 would become.
“Hello darkness, my old friend.” Seasons when God seems silent are painful times to go through, and can seem a lot like the darkness that lingers beyond the night.
I often find that my default mode to bad news is to just go into a spiral of worrying, overthinking, and panicking. That morning, I just let my feelings and thoughts run loose and got completely carried away with my fears. Did I pray? Yeah, I did, but, as it often is in moments like that, it was a prayer that came from a desperate and hopeless place. A prayer uttered in fear, with very little confidence.
My personal relationship with God convinced me that He cared for those who were suffering, as He does in all moments of our pain. But I did question, where was God in all of this? And how could we, as Christians, respond to the changing climate in a godly way?
As my family watched the votes come rolling in on election night last week, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of heaviness at the obvious division in the U.S.
I see my phone light up with an incoming facetime call from one of my best friends. While we’re very close, we don’t usually facetime each other unannounced. I do the math.
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