“Hello darkness, my old friend.” Seasons when God seems silent are painful times to go through, and can seem a lot like the darkness that lingers beyond the night.
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I often find that my default mode to bad news is to just go into a spiral of worrying, overthinking, and panicking. That morning, I just let my feelings and thoughts run loose and got completely carried away with my fears. Did I pray? Yeah, I did, but, as it often is in moments like that, it was a prayer that came from a desperate and hopeless place. A prayer uttered in fear, with very little confidence.
My personal relationship with God convinced me that He cared for those who were suffering, as He does in all moments of our pain. But I did question, where was God in all of this? And how could we, as Christians, respond to the changing climate in a godly way?
I see my phone light up with an incoming facetime call from one of my best friends. While we’re very close, we don’t usually facetime each other unannounced. I do the math.
To many, these racial tensions are everyday life obstacles to hurdle—not newly emerging problems. I am one of the many: a Black man who calls America home.
Growing up in church, I watched people testify to what they called, “God’s grace.” From my perspective, what I saw was people sharing about horrible mistakes and poor choices they had made, and how God had seen them through the challenges that followed.
In my recent chats with my friends, new phrases like “That’s sus.” or “You imposter!” have infiltrated our conversations. These are usually met with a knowing grin and a tongue-in-cheek response like “Yeah! Sus!” before laughter ensues among us.
In August, I felt like God told me to take the month of September as a Sabbath—a time to stop and rest. I felt called to stop working, stop my planning, and to spend some quality, uninterrupted time with God.
The start of this new decade may not have panned out the way we hoped it would, but that doesn’t mean 2020 has been a waste.
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