I tried sharing about my mental health struggles at one of the first churches I served in. I thought asking for help from a church leader would be a good idea. But the response I got was simply, just pray more, trust God more.
About Marissa Luk
From a young age, Marissa's heart has been for missions and social justice. After being raised on the mission field in Latin America, she has been living in East Asia since 2017 and is currently serving with local church ministries in Taiwan.
Along with undergoing her studies in law, she is passionate about writing, bubble tea, science fiction, Tolkien, and National Geographic.
Marissa is married to Brian and together they have a cute German Shepherd named Roo. They are also parents of two babies, Haven and Evie, both of whom are now with the Lord.
Entries by Marissa Luk
I remember the surprising relief that came with that first cut. It felt stinging and exhilarating and guilt-ridden all at once. Little did I know then that it would be the first of many to come.
For some years now, being on social media has turned me into a just-keep-it-to-myself kind of Christian. I’ve been avoiding talking about things like Christ-centred identity and Biblical marriage because I don’t want risk being labelled.
I soon came to realise that as much as my husband appreciated my efforts, he wasn’t a fan of reading or collecting figurines. Instead, he felt more loved whenever I spent time with him. Since then, we’ve made more effort to show love in ways that really meet the other person’s needs.
Since my home church in Mexico sent me out for missions in East Asia almost five years ago, I had been living by a mindset that it’s my responsibility to be productive in whatever ministry God leads me to.
However, in the past year, I haven’t felt as busy or “productive” the way I have in other locations I’ve lived in.
The extra downtime has prompted me to reflect on the years I’ve spent on this side of the world, which made me realise that I’ve been feeling weary for quite some time.
There are going to be so many times that you doubt yourself, your abilities, and your calling. You are going to question if you really are useful, and if you truly should have left home in the first place. As excited as you are to make Jesus known in Asia, you’ll end up letting fear take over many times.
I don’t know the exact timing, but some five years ago I began my long, draining battle with depression and anxiety disorders.
The seasons since have fluctuated in ferocity and been riddled with counselor meetings, psychiatric appointments, medications, and even suicidal urges.
One of the most natural habits I acquired through life was that of putting myself down. I didn’t need anyone talking down at or to me because I was already so good at doing it to myself.
Our relationship was unusual from the very start. I came from Mexico, and Brian lived in the United States, but we ended up meeting in Hong Kong while working in ministry at the same church. Along with romantic interest in each other, our attraction sprung from a mutual pull towards missions.
YMI (which stands for Why Am I?), is a platform for Christian young people all over the world to ask questions about life and discover their true purpose. We are a community with different talents but the same desire to make sense of God’s life-changing word in our everyday lives.
YMI is a part of Our Daily Bread Ministries.
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