Truths I Wish to Share with My 20-Year-Old Self
In my early twenties, I hated being single. I thought it meant that I was unattractive and unwanted.
Agnes once scored a "D" for English, so she never imagined that she could write. But after she experienced God's redemptive power through an unexpected interruption in life, she felt prompted to write to share about the goodness of God, and to bring comfort and hope to those around her. She is quiet most of the time and loves reading or taking long walks on her own but can be easily tempted out of her hermit mode with ice-cream, cakes, cookies, and most things sweet.
In my early twenties, I hated being single. I thought it meant that I was unattractive and unwanted.
There was a period when I had offered to write almost one article a week to help my ministry team meet deadlines. Even though my command of English is ordinary, I love relating to God’s Word and began writing a lot of my experiences and thoughts.
I grew up with Ashley (not her real name) and we attended the same schools. We talked a lot about relationships when we were younger and the kind of married life we hoped for.
I used to wonder what my spiritual gift was. I thought it was ushering because someone suggested I help out as an usher.
Then one day, our pastor showed us a movie titled War Room. The main character was a faithful and God-loving woman who wrote down her prayers in a prayer closet and prayed about them daily.
The church I became a Christian in is probably one of the smallest churches in Singapore. I started attending it because the pastor’s wife—who happens to be my husband’s aunt—reached out to me during a period of trials. Through her, I found comfort in God’s Word and a Christian community who really encouraged me.
“What? You are attending a Bible study in a Methodist church?” My husband expressed his surprise when I first told him that I was joining this particular Bible study. It was just 10 minutes’ walk from my office, and the timing was just after work hours, which worked out perfectly for me.
Four years ago, I was staying with my husband’s family. I was a new mom to a baby boy, and there were many things I had to learn.
My in-laws, naturally, kept a close watch on their grandson. They would often correct me on how to carry the baby or hold his milk bottle. As a perfectionist, I hated being corrected. But at the same time, I felt pressured to perform well, even when I was tired.
My colleagues and I were having lunch at the pantry when we saw a colleague heading for the office door with her purse.
“Where is she going?” someone in the group asked.
Another colleague answered, “Oh, she has taken half the day off to watch a Korean pop concert. She has a premium ticket.”
I sank into near depression after giving birth four years ago. My days were spent in tears of self-pity as I faced many issues on my own as a new mom, combined with misunderstandings with my husband and in-laws. My marriage was on the rocks. I had no joy. My life was a mess I could not get out of.
YMI (which stands for Why Am I?), is a platform for Christian young people all over the world to ask questions about life and discover their true purpose. We are a community with different talents but the same desire to make sense of God’s life-changing word in our everyday lives.
YMI is a part of Our Daily Bread Ministries.
Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible,
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