Girl on the ground crying

Breaking Up with Breakups

Breakups are painful experiences that many of us, myself included, may have gone through—some more painfully than others. It hurts to see our friends experience one, let alone ourselves.

Leading up to the event, we are often consumed by doubt and apprehension. A whirlpool of emotions causes great confusion in our heads. One minute we tell ourselves we are fine, and the next our minds start to play tricks on us again.

When it finally happens, the stages we go through are mostly similar—denial leading to anger, then bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

I can’t believe it happened!
It’s entirely his fault; he left me high and dry.
I promise things will be different. Shall we give our relationship another chance?
Why did he leave me, was I not good enough for him?
I think it’s time to move on. I can find someone better.

In recovering, some of us choose to harbor anger and give our exes a piece of our minds. But there is no use pointing fingers; it gets us nowhere and we end up hurting those involved, including ourselves. Some of us confide in a friend. Some of us listen to songs about breaking up like the recent “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift. Some of us eat a lot, while others feel ill at the sight of food. Some of us look up quotes that make us feel a little bit better.

Though many of the above methods help, nothing works better than going back to God and seeking His guidance for the next chapter of our lives. Proverbs 3:5-6 offers good counsel, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Even when we think we’ve got things under control, we can easily trip up and make the situation more problematic without God’s guidance.

God has His reasons for everything that happens, although we may not understand them now. He is firmly in control and we should know that we have nothing to worry about. Though we sometimes feel like we are breaking, let God do the mending. He knows full well what we need.

I hope this has encouraged those of you who might be feeling down and out. You are allowed to feel down but don’t let it torment you forever. There’s a better way out—God’s healing and guidance.

Photo credit: Guilherme Yagui / Foter / CC BY

Written by VT for YMI

2 replies
  1. jOist
    jOist says:

    I was the one who broke up with my boyfriend. Although I know it is right, there are some days when days are just so uninspiring. Keep the faith! Thanks for posting!


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