A Letter to My Past Brokenhearted Self

Dear Agnes,

I know it feels like it’s the worst night of your life. Your boyfriend of two years just broke up with you. You’re crying and you’re lonely.

You never expected such a thing to happen. The both of you were so happy together. It was Christmas Eve and you were supposed to attend a late night Christmas party together.

The evening started out pretty perfectly. Wayne came to your void deck, asking you to come downstairs to meet him. He presented a Christmas present to you and to your delight, it was your favorite chocolates.

But something was amiss. He was somewhat nervous and hesitant, and kept shifting his weight from foot to foot. He said he had something to tell you. You couldn’t help but feel excited. The both of you had been together for two years and many of your friends were getting engaged or married. Was he finally going to pop the question?

His next line sent your world crumbling down. He took a deep breath and said: “Can we just be friends?” You couldn’t believe your ears. You thought things between the both of you were progressing well. Why would he want a break-up now? The only thing he could say was that he felt the relationship was not heading anywhere.

You started sobbing uncontrollably. For fear of losing him, you hugged him as tightly as you could. He held you tightly too without pushing you away. But he was still firm on the break-up. The man you once saw your future with didn’t want you anymore.

In the end, he walked you to the lift like he had in the past. Except that this time, he no longer kissed you as he said goodbye.

Back home, you silently went to bed but you could not sleep. The scene kept replaying in your mind as you cried yourself to sleep. Wayne, your first boyfriend, was now officially your ex-boyfriend. You were afraid to tell your parents about the break-up because they liked him. Your future seemed bleak—it seemed as though you were on your own from that night onwards.  It was your darkest night.

My dear Agnes, will you allow me to hold your hands in the dark night and bring you to someone who will never forsake you or let you down? That person loves you very much and He wants to be a part of your life. I would not be where I am, in this position to encourage you today if not for Jesus’ faithfulness to me.

I know you are feeling afraid and uncertain of the future. But He promised that He will be with us, He will never leave us to face dark nights alone (Deut 31:8) and our future is directed by Him (Proverbs 16:9).

I know you are feeling rejected by Wayne. But the God who says not to be afraid because He will never leave us nor forsake us is also the God who chooses us to be His people to declare His praises (1 Peter 2:9-10), and will not drive us away (John 6:37).

I know that you are feeling confused over what is happening.  You haven’t found any proper closure. It ended so abruptly. You are feeling so lost that you don’t even mind if you lose your life. But can I urge you to trust in God’s promises for your life? God says in Romans 8:28 that all things—whether our joys or our sufferings—work together for our good. He has a purpose for our pain and suffering.

God has allowed this to happen as part of His plan so that He can lead you to your future husband. And when you meet your husband in the future, God will reveal to you more of Himself through your marriage. You will see that His faithful hands have always been on your side.

Will you trust your future with Him?



With God’s Love,

Your Future Self

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