What if God Made Me Pretty?

I am short, stocky, and average-looking. When I was growing up, people used to comment about how flat my nose was. A friend even told me that my nose looked like it had been hit by something.

I was introduced to Barbie dolls as a kid; they were so pretty, tall, and slim. Lead actresses of my favorite television series were similarly attractive, and I wished I looked like them. Though I knew it was more important to be healthy than pretty, it was difficult to accept that God gave me such ordinary looks compared to other females around me.

Around the age of 18, I decided that I wanted to change my appearance. Instead of my usual t-shirts and jeans, I started dressing more fashionably, wearing accessories, hats, and jackets.  I also started wearing make-up whenever I went out. However, make-up could only cover my flaws, not change them. I could not change my height. And despite exercise and sweat, I could not change my body shape either; all I wanted was a bit more curve. I wanted to be pretty and popular, like the models and actresses I admired.

In my early 20s, I met with an aesthetic doctor to talk about possible procedures to enhance my facial features. But after considering the risks and regular Botox injections required, I shelved the idea. Aside from changing my looks, I also wanted to change my body shape, but the doctor could not suggest any procedure that I was comfortable with. Height lengthening procedure is extremely risky as it involves major leg surgery, and the success is not guaranteed. After considering these risks, costs, and non-guaranteed outcomes, it did not take me long to put away the idea of cosmetic surgery.

On top of wishing that I were more attractive, I secretly wished to have a boyfriend. Many of the girls in school who had boyfriends were pretty, and I assumed that I did not have one because I was not good-looking. I was also shy and thought that pretty girls were confident, sociable, and popular because of their looks. I envied them. I hated God and felt that He was not fair. He made so many girls pretty but not me. I disliked my pretty friends. I did not like mixing with them because being around them made me feel ugly and uncomfortable. So I tended to ignore them and their feelings.

I simply could not understand Psalm 139:14, which says that we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made.” I felt that it did not relate to me. I was upset and told God, “You must be kidding me. If I am really carefully and wonderfully made, I would have been a pretty sweet young lady.”

It was not until I came across Proverbs 31:30 one day during my quiet time that I realized how God was speaking to me. It says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Another verse which impacted me was 1 Peter 3:3, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.”

God is not looking for someone charming or beautiful, but for someone who fears Him. He does not look at our exterior beauty, but at our hearts. These verses humbled me and made me realize how superficial I had been by focusing only on temporal beauty instead of Him. God had never condemned me; I was the one who condemned myself because I felt ugly. In fact, God praises women who fear Him. So if I wanted to be praised by Him, I had to fear him. I had to honor Him by placing Him before myself.

Though I still do not know why God made some girls pretty and not others, I know we are safe when we run to Him with our feelings. His word speaks truth to satisfy the void in us. Bible says in Isaiah 55:9 that God’s ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts than my thoughts. Surely I can trust God that He has made me perfect in His own ways, as it says in Psalm 139:14. He made each of us exactly the way He meant us to be, in order to fulfill our unique individual calling and purpose in the highest manner.

As I progress in the knowledge of His word, I feel called to serve Him in writing. I feel God’s truth seeping into every area of my life and speaking to me. I also gain fresh insights when I read the writings of fellow Christians who share their thoughts about how God has worked in their lives. It encourages me. And I feel the burden to do the same, to share with others my own experiences and thoughts so that others can be encouraged as well in times of need. To write, I need not be pretty on the outside. What I need is a pure undivided heart that desires God above all else, and to make Him my sole desire.

Looking back, if I had been pretty, I might have my earlier dreams of being a model fulfilled. The nature of the job may not allow me to dress modestly, and I may also be too proud of my body. I may not treat my body with respect or remember that it is the temple where the Holy Spirit dwells (1 Corinthians 6:19). God has made me the way I need to be to focus on Him and to embrace my calling in Him.

Now, although I am still tempted to wish for physical beauty whenever I see someone pretty, I remind myself that the world’s definition of beauty is not God’s definition of beauty. I fully understand that I do not need to be pretty to be confident. My confidence is in God who praises those who fear Him and speaks to us in our calling. I am now assured in Psalm 139:14 that I am perfectly made. He gives me confidence that I am handmade by Him personally and that my identity is in Him.

18 replies
  1. Jeremy
    Jeremy says:

    Thanks for sharing your personal honest feelings I am really encouraged by your faith in Him.

    All for the glory of God!

    • Serrnity P.
      Serrnity P. says:

      Thank you for using facts from his word and not discouraging or hurting ppl in the process, but giving us hope and stating what God considers beautiful rather than the world.

  2. Danielle
    Danielle says:

    This is inspiring, and a message that girls all over the world should hear! We must remember that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” <3

  3. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    I can completely relate to this! I’ve always been the ugly duckling growing up and well into my young adult life. Thanks for sharing your faith and words of truth!

  4. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    There is no need to fear God, just respect him and pray to him. You should only fear him if you have done something wrong.

  5. rob
    rob says:

    If GOD made me pretty than I wouldn’t be here, I don’t understand why GOD put me in a ugly shell. A lifetime as the ugly duckling has scared me for 47 years, I can’t wait until it over.I hate mirrors and pictures an its not from that I’ve done it how I look [selfie never.]

  6. rich the ugliest
    rich the ugliest says:

    GOD made me ugly, living this life in this UGLY shell,has given me more of a will for death than anything else, I don’t care about love from God knowing God loves me or not doesn’t change how I see this world. When you look like a hobbit or a oompa the world doesn’t take you serious. How I see myself I ask myself daily what is the point of living, if I knew there was no after life I’d bye gone already. What if GOD made me pretty than I wouldn’t be here. If God truly loved me then God would make this all go away…

    • Breanna
      Breanna says:

      The world being cruel to you, though unfortunate, isn’t evidence that God doesn’t love you. You aren’t the only person who feels this way and everyone experiences suffering. Jesus Himself was mocked, belittled, beaten and ostracized for who He was. The maltreatment didn’t even stop at the cross. Who are we to think life is supposed to be rosy if we are no better than our Master? Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. He will give you rest and relief.

  7. Savannah
    Savannah says:

    I struggle with envying my very attractive friends who are man magnets. I become frustrated with my acne, broad shoulders, deeper voice, wide nose, etc. I should be appreciative of the body God has given me.
    It can be difficult when you are surrounded by women who are soft, dainty, and feminine with the classic hourglass shape.
    I was teased a lot during my childhood for my teeth, my eyes, and my nose.

  8. Myka
    Myka says:

    I wish I can say I’m okay and this feeling will all go away but it’s never ending pain. Never a time in my childhood up to now being 22 where I can honestly say I experienced genuine happiness. The emptiness runs deep, I seek God and attend events and services but a hole in my heart is still there. I hated being born Filipina, even now it still causes alot of emotional pain and bugs me. I hated my ugly face. My broad nose, thin lined eyebrows, small narrow eyes, small lips, yellowish skin, frizzy hair. Everything seemed to not go well as a whole, a complete mess. No one sees me, all the guys I’ve liked never even gave me a second look or a chance, I hated myself and I am invisible in this society. Fast forward to know, I got pregnant I was a virgin with no relationships prior. The guy I like was a friend of mine. I developed great feelings for him and he was my coworker too. He used me and all this time liked another girl who is just like him Mexican too and she is very physically attractive and beautiful for a girl. Her face is attractive, her body is curvious. Nice in appearance and figure and style. He liked her all along and used me. The hurt was none like other, it was like a continous stab in the chest. I’ve always was never happy from a kid till now being ugly and filipino but what happened to me tore me completely. Wanting to be not Asian too and beautiful inside and out. It felt like a curse. Being born in the wrong place, the wrong time, the wrong country, the wrong day, the wrong body. I never could understand God on this I hated he make me Filipino and look the way I do. Why did God make many of his daughters he also loves beautiful and forgot to add me on that list. Its like for them to be told they are made that way for a reason and a purpose it seems like a big compliment to me and to them. And when it came to me being told I was made this way for a reason and for a purpose it feels like the biggest insult that God has done and if he were to tell me that. If God loves us all shouldn’t he make everyone all equally beautiful in the same extent? If I was also a beautiful girl I know I wouldn’t be vain, I’d still love God, love people, and actually like myself. Every waking day I hate that I am Filipino and ugly. Its harsh.

    • Erin
      Erin says:

      I’m white. Caucasian. Born and live in the US. Am 5’10. Guess what? Ive been told I’m ugly a LOT. People ask me if I’m a guy in drag. Men are never interested in me. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m 42 and never had a guy love me back. Being a tall white woman in the US didn’t make my life easier by any means.

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  1. […] Oleh Agnes Lee, Singapura Artikel asli dalam bahasa Inggris: What If God Made Me Pretty? […]

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