When Will It Be My Turn?

Written By Jordan Lee, USA

You meet him—you know who I’m talking about. He’s the guy you’ve been dreaming of, the one you thought you’d never even talk to . . . and then he asks you on a date, a real date!

You hide the happy dance your heart is doing, fight back the squeal, and accept with pleasure. Within seconds, all your girls know and they’re offering their closets for you to peruse. You spend hours picking out the perfect outfit.

He picks you up at 7:00 a.m. sharp—not a minute early or a minute late, just like he promised. The date ends with a sweet kiss goodnight, a promise to call you tomorrow, and you dance to your room with a light heart and twinkle in your eye.

And then he actually calls the next day. The dates not only continue but soon he begins calling you the magic word. He begins calling you his—wait for it . . . girlfriend. Score! When you hear that word, it’s not scary or weird or uncomfortable like with the other guys. It sounds just right—fitting.

Eventually, he pops the question. You call your girls and inform the world with the perfect Instagram post and finally create that Pinterest wedding board. You ever so creatively ask your girls to be your maids, which they make known on Instagram, and they help you prep every detail of the big day like you’ve done for them.

Isn’t this how we want it to go? Isn’t this how we envision it as a little girl? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that this is an ideal but less than likely scenario.

Maybe you haven’t met your match. Maybe you’ve never had a boyfriend that sticks around. Maybe you’re frustrated because you’ve never even been asked on a date and all your friends are getting married and having the cutest babies ever. And maybe you believe that your life is a bummer. Maybe you’re sick of seeing everyone else fall in love. Maybe you’re wondering what’s wrong with you and when it’ll be your turn.

If that’s you, cool. I’d love to tell you that it’s going to happen for you soon. I’d love to tell you Mr. Right just got caught in traffic. I’d love to say the clichéd little phrase, “to find the right person, you have to become the right person.”

But I can’t.

I don’t know the future of your love life any more than you do. I don’t know the purpose of your current relationship status any more than you do. Only God knows if you’re supposed to meet Mr. Right and only He knows when it’ll be your turn.

But this isn’t about taking turns. Life and relationships aren’t a game and God isn’t skipping your turn when you feel like He is. The cold, hard truth is that there’s no cookie-cutter answer for your situation, and I think sometimes we like to put blanket statements on it because we all know being alone is hard.

But I’m not going to give you a magic solution or throw clichéd phrases on your life. Because as you step into yet another bridesmaid dress or fake a smile for another one of your friends in love whom you’re really trying to be happy for, I’d be willing to bet that those statements don’t help at all.

I’d rather remind you that there’s a reason God has you right where you are, that you’re appreciated, and that your current role is needed in big and mighty ways. You are needed as you are, right now, flying solo, individual, and independent.

I know it’s tempting and normal to step into a lonely pity party, but I dare you to own your loneliness instead of letting it own you. Don’t throw your heart walls up in protection or your hands up in surrender. Both are isolating and discouraging and you’re better than that.

When you feel like you’re losing hope, take a step back. Are you placing your hope in the ring or in the King?

Your character, your strengths, and your exact blend of humor, wit, and beauty are needed for something a lot bigger than Pinterest boards and wedding bells.

And maybe you just need to be reminded that the Prince of Peace sees that—even if a Prince Charming never does.

You are beloved by God and needed in this big world—with or without a plus one.

This article was originally posted on the writer’s blog here. This version has been edited by YMI.