Written By Jill Phua, Singapore
Ever since my sister got attached, I have been anticipating her wedding and the prospect of her starting a family. Imagine my joy when my sister told me that her boyfriend had proposed to her. I believe I was even more excited than she was. Finally! My sister was tying the knot!
But months before the wedding, I began to feel wistful. I imagined home without my sister and how quiet and awfully lonely it would be. I imagined watching television alone and shopping alone. There would be no more Saturday afternoon nasi briyani lunches, less jamming sessions, and no more “sleepovers” in her room. I started to feel empty, like I was losing my sister to someone else.
When I shared these feelings with some of my family members and close friends, they reassured me that nothing would change after my sister got married. But I knew better.
Before I knew it, the wedding day had arrived, and after all the formalities, my sister was finally married. I can proudly say that I managed not to shed a single tear during the day. Right after the wedding ceremony, my sister and her husband were whisked away to the hotel to spend the rest of the day. Waving at them as the bridal car drove away, I felt like I was waving goodbye to her forever.
Since then, I’ve often wondered: do other people feel this way when their sibling gets married, or am I the only one? Up to this day, I still don’t know. The sense of loss I felt was all too real; a big part of my life changed. However, seeing my sister take up other roles as wife, daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law made me realize how selfish I was to focus only on my “loss”. She too had to learn to fit into these new roles. Having to “share” my sister also gave me an insight into what it means when we say that love is selfless and seeks the benefit of others.
It has been a year since she got married, and my sister has learned to cook and to manage a house on her own. She has even learned to cook things she would never eat—like scrambled eggs—because her husband enjoys them. For me, I’ve learned to adapt to the quiet at home and have also come to appreciate spending time alone (it took time, of course.)
Besides, we are still close. Sure, we spend less time together, but thanks to technology, we have so many means of communication. She is still the first person I call when I have news to share, whether it’s good or bad news, or when I just want to vent.
I am thankful for my sister; she has always been there for me and never fails to support me. Regardless of how our situations change further in the future, I would like to always be able to do the same for her.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”— 1 Corinthians 13:4-7