Realizing God’s Calling in My Life
Written by J. Chow, Canada
I had a difficult conversation with a good friend the other night. I was still thinking about it when I went to bed, and woke up late the next morning. I hate waking up late and still feeling tired. I missed class. I finally got up to make breakfast. The milk was past its expiry date. I had to pour away the tea I made. I made coffee instead. The water wasn’t hot; my coffee was lukewarm.
This particular morning added to the frustrations I was already facing in my work as a missionary serving in East Asia. I work mainly with university students, the “up-and-coming” leaders of their community and country.
I had come to Asia from my home in Canada because I saw the need and hunger for the gospel. Along with five other team members, I had come hoping to influence a generation. I wanted to meet the needs of a poorly-resourced and young house church movement, believing that the gospel preached and lived would change the lives of those we ministered to, and ultimately, the world.
Being a dreamer, I had come with hopes and dreams to change the world. I knew it was God’s calling for me to serve as a missionary in Asia. But after half a year of facing students who always seemed to be “too busy”, having to tiptoe around a sensitive working relationship with church partners, struggling to strengthen unity and working on several school campuses—with 10-hour work days and six-day work weeks—I was exhausted and exasperated.
Later in the day as I sat at my desk processing these frustrations and challenges in my mind as I journalled, I felt defeated. My journal entry turned into a rant and a cry to God. Why? What’s the purpose of all these challenges?
As I started praying, I heard God saying to me:
“I could have taken you to beautiful places to worship me. But I didn’t. I brought you here. I brought you to smog, to dirt, to difficulty. I brought you far away from your family and friends. I brought you into brokenness. I brought you into team conflict. I brought you into a foreign land. And it is here I brought you to worship me.
“You are my daughter and I love you as my very own. How could I ever leave you or forsake you? I am with you always. I knew all these challenges and difficulties would come and still I sent you here. I have a purpose and intention for all of this. I want you to learn how to unabashedly lift up your hands in worship wherever, whenever. Will you come and worship me?”
Worship is the purpose of our lives. I had been focusing on my calling to be a missionary, but now I was being reminded that we are simply called to worship the creator of heaven and earth, our Abba Father, our Almighty King.
“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.” – John 4:23
It’s not about where we are or what we’re accomplishing. All that really matters at the end of the day is whether we have answered the call to simply worship Him. Even if I did not worship and cry “Hosanna!”, the rocks would cry out in worship of Him. Therefore, Father, let me worship you in Spirit and Truth.
I like what you have shared. I too experience the same trouble with you. Even I am a sinner who denied God before, I still cling to Him for help.. God is good for even to a sinner like me, he still sends good people to comfort and help me to all my troubles.
My heart goes out to you, sister. I can relate how frustrating it is to be living in a world full of conflict, of hidden agendas and busy, busy people. But as this is my testimony, do not give up. There is someone who is waiting for that message and compassion that you carry. Take myself as an example. I have been miserable. I thought I was Christian for years, living with my Christian biological mother. I knew a lot of things regarding the Bible. I even memorized almost all the Bible stories I learned through the years. Then God sent outsiders to witness to me about His infallible love. But it was a slow process. It definitely did not open my eyes to the truth of His Good News overnight. Meanwhile, I sinned and fell, I was and still am stubborn. But God is more stubborn still. Last year, after ten years of ignoring Him, I dedicated my life in His Hands. J, I want to encourage you to go on. Do not give up. You may not see it now, but your mark will most definitely be worthwhile. See it through eyes of faith, and be sure that God will do impossible things. May God bless you, J. I will pray for you.