How Can I Serve God While Battling Depression?

Charles Spurgeon? Depression?

I first heard of Charles Spurgeon from my pastor when he shared some insightful quotes from Spurgeon’s many sermons. At the time, I remember being immensely awed by this “giant” of a preacher—and it never occurred to me that someone like Spurgeon would struggle with depression.

It was only when a friend shared this with me that I began to see a different side to this “giant” of the faith. Interested in learning more, I found a book—Spurgeon’s Sorrows by Zack Eswine—that documents Spurgeon’s experiences in great detail.

Spurgeon’s battle with depression began when he was pastor of a large church at the age of 22. Once, when he was preaching to thousands at Surrey Gardens Music Hall, a prankster yelled “Fire!”. This caused a panic as the congregation scrambled to exit the building—leaving seven people dead and 28 severely injured in the process.

After this incident, Spurgeon’s mental state was never the same again. His wife, Susannah, wrote “My beloved’s anguish was so deep and violent, that reason seemed to totter in her throne, and we sometimes feared that he would never preach again.

In the following years, Spurgeon suffered what he called “causeless depression.” He once said “My spirits were sunken so low that I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for.”

While I could never imagine what Charles Spurgeon might have gone through, I am no stranger to depression myself. I recently went through a stage of severe loneliness, questioning God about my singleness, asking Him “Why?” and “When?”

So, the more I read the book, the more I wanted to know how Spurgeon got through his depression and if there were any practical tips I could apply to my own life. Instead I discovered an amazing thing—while Spurgeon found no cure for his depression, he still committed a good portion of his life (more than 38 years) to serving God by preaching throughout Great Britain.

I consider myself pretty active in church, serving both as a cell group leader and as a member of a committee that looks at ways to draw young adults into a closer relationship with God. At times, I felt my struggle with depression made me unworthy to hold such positions, as I had thought that I would be more of a burden than a help to the young people I was leading. At one stage I even mentioned stepping down to my co-workers. They encouraged me to continue serving, but respected my decision if that was truly what I wanted.

Spurgeon’s life, however, showed me that perhaps there is another way to view my depression—not as something that’s crippling but a way for me to experience God’s love and faithfulness in greater depth.


I am not alone

Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Hebrews 2:18

In times of sorrow, we often hear that Jesus will make all things right when He returns again. While that is true and a reality we can all look forward to, Spurgeon invites sufferers of depression to find our Savior’s help in a place we don’t often think of—at the garden of Gethsemane.

For Spurgeon, the garden of sorrow, where Jesus said to his disciples, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me” (Matthew 26:38) gives us a picture of “mental depression”. Because of that, sufferers of depression can find a place to rest within the storyline of Jesus, to know that He once suffered deep anguish and sorrow to the point of death.

I had never viewed Jesus’ time at the garden of Gethsemane this way before, and often just focused on other aspects of His journey to the cross. But reading Spurgeon’s description gave me a renewed appreciation for my Savior. It helped me see that Jesus doesn’t just offer hope for the future, but a hope that is here and now. As Hebrews 2:18 reminds us, He understands our pains and struggles because He Himself had faced it in all its different facets.

Knowing this has led me to pray more regularly. Whenever I feel depressed, I remind myself to trust that Christ is here with me—He knows my pain, and I can surrender all my feelings unto Him. This has helped me through many a time when I’ve felt weighed down, especially at work or while I’m serving in church, and gave me the strength to keep going.


Invite friends into your journey

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

—Galatians 6:2

In Spurgeon’s Sorrows, Zack Eswine describes how Spurgeon also turned to natural ways to lift himself out of depression, such as laughter, quiet hours, and relaxing vacations. I find these suggestions very helpful, especially since I’m often tempted to do nothing or sleep at home when I am feeling depressed. Although these can be good forms of relaxation, Spurgeon encourages us to actively participate in different ways that could naturally help lift our mood.

I’ve found it immensely helpful to make plans with my friends, spending time enjoying each other’s company, as well as sharing our struggles and bringing them to God in prayer (Galatians 6:2) instead of keeping to myself. Even if there is no time for us to meet up, being able to text a friend and know that someone is there walking with me has helped me through my depression.


Lean on Christ

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

—Deuteronomy 33:27

Spurgeon’s life models for me what it means to be dependent on Christ, and gives me hope that I am no less effective in serving God’s people despite my struggles with depression.

In fact, I’ve realized that it is okay to let others know what I am struggling with, that I may lean all the more on Christ, His Word, and the community that He has given me. I know that He is my refuge, and His everlasting arms will carry me through the trials of this life, just as He did with Spurgeon and saw him through his depression and a lifetime of ministry.

If you struggle with depression too, I hope you will be comforted by the truth that Christ offers hope for our journey—and pray for God’s sustaining grace to be upon you.


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14 replies
  1. Clara
    Clara says:

    Love your sharing. 🙂 I battle with depression at times due to failed relationships and singleness too,and am trying to focus on Him in my walk rather than these external circumstances. After all,our Father has told us to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,and all these things will be given to us as well.

    • Shawn Quah
      Shawn Quah says:

      Thank you Clara for your encouragement, it means a lot coming from someone who faced the same struggles. I agree with what you shared, a close friend shared the same with me during my worst moments of depression, that same friend is still journeying with me to this day 🙂 I pray that no matter the circumstances, that we both continue to see His grace in our-everyday, be it through the friends He has given us, or His Word or the sure fact that we are loved no matter the circumstances by our creator. God bless. 🙂

  2. George Sarah
    George Sarah says:

    This is so encouraging and timely!
    Hebrews 2:18 looked as if it was just added to the bible, Lol. The words just came alive to me.
    I am glad to know that Jesus knows exactly how it feels to be tempted and because of this, he will help us and see us through in our own period of temptation.
    I’m blessed!

    • Shawn Quah
      Shawn Quah says:

      I’m glad the article brought such encouragement to you George Sarah! Yes indeed, Jesus identifies and empathizes with us, walks with us each day as we carry our crosses, with us when we are tempted to give up, with us in our sorrows, but also with us in our joys and victories. May we always give thanks for His sustaining grace! God bless.

  3. Lauren Varkey
    Lauren Varkey says:

    I am in position exactly mentioned in your article right now. It’s helped me find out the ways which i can overcome my depression. Thank you for this article.

    • Shawn Quah
      Shawn Quah says:

      Hi Lauren Varkey, I am thankful that God has used my article to help others who have similar struggles. I know it isn’t easy but let’s continue to hold on tightly to He who is faithful (1 Corinthians 1:9), no matter how hard it can get. God bless.

  4. Josh tang
    Josh tang says:

    Hi Shawn:
    It’s so encouraging to hear from you oh depression which I’m all too familiar with. Plus my religious OCD which can be a mouthful.. I also have a copy of Zack Eswine’s “spurgeon sorrows” .. it helped me a lot too know spurgeon was so familiar with depression even to its edge he struggled sometimes! Glad to know u through this platform.

    • Shawn Quah
      Shawn Quah says:

      Hi Josh!
      Nice to meet you too 🙂 It means a lot to me to see people writing in and sharing that they too struggle with depression, that we are not alone in this. God is amazing, isn’t He? That even in this virtual space, He has brought us together, that we might, in our own small ways minister to one another. Thank you and God bless.

  5. Josh tang
    Josh tang says:

    Yes it’s true-often my religious OCD drives me to suicidal despair and as a Christian, it can trip up cos I keep looking for sins which seemed aplenty-sins of past, sins of present and felt truly this terror is a punishment. Chastisement maybe but not judgement or condemnation Cos God took it away from me by His Son, our Lord Christ. Pray that for people who suffer in this manner, our Lord God will preserve our lives and cause us to testify for Him as He is well deserving of!!

    • Shawn Quah
      Shawn Quah says:

      Thanks for sharing that Josh, it isn’t easy for anyone who is suffering to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I’ve seen my own mum suffer from slight depression due to her severe eczema. I could only be there to listen as she poured out what she was feeling, hoping that my presence was an encouragement to her. It made me realize that on our own we might not be able to withstand what we are going thru, but having God, His Word and through His people around us, we can continue to persevere as we wait and long for the Day that approaches. Stay safe and continue to cling to Christ! God bless.

  6. Raji B
    Raji B says:

    After reading through the article and comments, I was really encouraged and reminded that Jesus himself suffered while he was on Earth,and that He understands what we go through. One thing I know is that He has given us Peace(not as the world gives it) and purpose, that will survive and thrive as we trust in Him.
    To those facing depression right now,I want you to always remember that Christ has overcomed the world for our sake, and that He has made you an Overcomer, a Conqueror, and that you should always know that Christ is ALWAYS with you,no matter what you are facing… you are Never alone!
    I pray you’d be encouraged today and continue to trust in the Lord. Amen!

    • Shawn Quah
      Shawn Quah says:

      Thank you, Raji for your words! I am encouraged reading it and I too pray that those who come across this article and all the comments in it will be encouraged as well that they are never alone. God bless.

  7. Ruth
    Ruth says:

    Hi Shawn, thank you for writing this article! I am in a season of grief and found myself drifting further from God. Reading your article reminded me to always trust and turn to God, even when moments of depression seep into my life and all seem dark and hopeless.

    It’s not easy to be so vulnerable in the public sphere and share your journey, but glad you found the courage to share and inspire.

    Cheers and may you continue to do His work!

    • Shawn Quah
      Shawn Quah says:

      Hi Ruth, thank you for your encouraging words! I am amazed how God continues to use this article to minister to others, especially the fact that it was written more than 2 years from now.

      I will be praying that in your walk with God through this difficult season, His Word will uplift and convict you, of how wide and long and high and deep His love for us is (Ephesians 3:16-19). God bless.

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