If Not for Her, My Life Would Have Fallen Apart

Written By Agnes Lee, Singapore

Whenever I recall the good things Christ has done for me, I always think of Maureen Ong, a godly woman God used to bring me into His presence. Had it not been for her, I might still be in darkness. Today, I acknowledge her as Godma.

The year was 2013. I was in my second year of marriage and staying with my in-laws. Coming from a family where I had the freedom to make my own decisions, I had a hard time adjusting to my new environment. Unlike my parents, my in-laws were involved in every decision, regardless of how big or small. Though they tried their best to treat me as part of the family, I felt like an outsider and frequently wondered if my feelings mattered. It didn’t help that my husband didn’t see anything wrong and couldn’t understand where I was coming from.

Things took a turn for the worse when my son was born. All matters pertaining to the family were handled by my parents-in-law and every time I tried to express my own ideas, I would be deemed “disrespectful”. As a result, I got into frequent quarrels with my husband and my in-laws.

One day, while having a heated argument with my husband inside our room, I voiced out that we should seek marriage counselling. My father-in-law heard me and immediately arranged for his cousin, Maureen, and her husband, a pastor, to meet us. Though my husband was not keen to undergo counselling, Maureen reached out to me. She encouraged me to share my feelings with her and was willing to guide me. We began to meet to study the Bible and I felt her genuine concern for me.

Knowing how broken I was, she was sensitive to my feelings and never reproached me harshly. Instead, she corrected me gently while showing me the value of mercy and grace. However, this angered my in-laws, who thought that she was siding with me. They would not listen to what she had to say and blamed her because they felt she was sparing me from correction. Looking back, I can see that I was at fault as well. I did not respect my in-laws and often shouted at them whenever I did not agree with their ideas.

I did not expect things to turn out the way they did. Because of me, Maureen’s good relationship with my in-laws was shattered and I felt very sad about it. However, she took the burden of this broken relationship upon herself and did not blame me for causing it. She kept affirming me of God’s truth and assured me that everything would be fine.

Initially, the hurts I had accumulated over the period of my stay with my in-laws made it hard for me to forgive them. But with Maureen’s constant encouragement from the Scriptures, healing began to take place in my heart. She showed me love and counselled me with the Word of God.

Among the passages she quoted was Philippians 1:6: “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” What had happened in my life was all part of God’s plan; he had allowed it to happen to bring me to himself so that I would be complete and lacking nothing.

The other passage that impacted me was Romans 8:31-32: “If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” I realized that if God loved me so much that He did not spare His own Son, He would surely give me all the things that I needed to grow, and the faith to overcome all things.

Knowing that God was sovereign and in charge helped me to see things from His kingdom’s perspective. I no longer felt that my in-laws were at fault. It helped me to forgive them and move on, knowing that what had happened was part of God’s plan to set me free, and for me to know Him more and experience His presence with me.

I am glad Maureen had persisted in showing me concern and counselling me from the Word of God, which is the truth that gives life. Had I been counselled by someone who did not know God, I might not have been set free by the eternal Word of God.

Recently, in my quiet time, I came across Hebrews 10:32-36. The author wrote about how the saints had stood firm in their faith despite sufferings, insults, and persecution. They stood by the side of those who were persecuted, sympathized with those who were in chains, and joyfully accepted suffering knowing that their reward in heaven was greater.

I thought of Godma. She anchored her faith upon the Lord, did the will of God at the expense of her earthly relationship with her cousin, and allowed herself to be accused. She accepted the pain of a broken relationship without a word of complaint, having confidence in the better and more abiding relationship with God. Because she stood by me, I knew my soul was precious. Because she showed me such great confidence in God, I was assured that our heavenly Father was a greater possession than anything that we have on earth.  She assured me that God will make everything right in His time.

Today, because of Godma, I have a new perspective and identity in Christ. Now, I am less self-centered and focused on my own problems. My husband, who used to be uncaring to me, has also become more understanding. The love of God has changed the both of us. If not for God’s intervention and a mentor who walked me through the darkest moments of my life, we would have gotten a divorce. I believe, in due time, my in-laws will see the light of Jesus and reconcile with Godma.

Godma has lived up to the standards of the “older women” as described in Titus 2:3-5, and has trained me to be become a better woman at home.  She taught me how to love and respect my husband and his family.

Now, I pray that God will prepare, train, and equip me to walk with another distressed younger woman whom I might meet one day. I pray that I will endure whatever it takes, just like Godma, so that another precious soul can be saved and transformed to see the light of Jesus.

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