• The Cookie Cutter Life
  • The Cookie Cutter Life

As the clock ticks down to my brother’s wedding, it’s becoming increasingly clear to me that: one, another loved one in my life is “moving on” in life without me, and two, the feeling of being left behind really stings, especially when you’re in your 30s . . . and still single. Being in my 30s also means that my window of opportunity to find someone to marry and have kids with is shrinking like the ozone layer.

To clarify, it’s not like I just woke up one morning feeling all sorry for myself. Because the truth is, I have tried to meet people over the past few years—seven to be exact. But while my brother has found the love of his life during that time, none of my “relationships” have worked out, as the feeling was never mutual.

Right now, I wish I could skip the whole dating game and jump straight into my picture-perfect dream reality: Being the mother of two adorable children, with an understanding, patient, and capable husband who would lead me gently in the way of the Lord. We would be serving together in church and also reaching out to other young couples with small children.

On a long and dreary day where I see plenty of my friends living that reality (on social media at least), I throw a little tantrum in my mind and ask: Why can’t I have that too?

But on most days (thankfully) when my mind is clear and my heart is at peace, I know that God hasn’t forgotten about me. In fact, He has intended my life to be exactly the way it currently is, for my good (Romans 8:28). The truth is, He knows that what I need in this period of my life is not a husband or children, but time and energy to be with the community He has given me:

  1. Time with my mother who has had to adjust to living life without my father over the past seven years.
  2. Time with friends struggling with various life challenges: singleness, broken relationships, barrenness, and divorce—to name a few.
  3. Time for my work which has often required overseas travel for meetings, training, and workshops.

As I reflect on my current stage of life, I’ve learned that family is more than just an immediate biological family, but the entire body of believers He has placed around me. God has also been using this time to teach me what I need to learn the most, which is this: I am already complete and have all I need—because of Christ (Col 2:9-10). The more I allow these truths to settle in my heart, the more ready I will be for whoever God brings into my life—husband or not.

Artwork by YMI X Estelle Queck (@morethanworks)

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