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Where Is God In The Midst Of Heartbreak?

Written By J. Koon, Malaysia

I lay face down on my bed, soaking my pillow with tears. Crickets chirped and whirred, cloaked in the darkness outside my window. I drew the warm blanket over my head, wanting to keep the world out. I did not want anyone to enter my sorrow.

I could still remember what he said over text message that morning. The black letters proclaiming doom on the lit screen of my iPhone, echoing in my mind. “I’m sorry, I think we are just not working out. Let’s call it quits.”

Things had not been rosy for some time, but I had tried to hold onto the crumbling relationship. He was starting to tire out. And now he had just given up on us. As I came to terms with the break up, I was not just mourning the end of the relationship, but also the hope of a future together. All those dreams, hopes, and plans seemed to lie in the dust, like a demolished castle in the air. Instead of a lifetime together, I faced the prospect of being on my own again.

“God, this is not fair. Why is this happening to me? I have served You faithfully and I have tried my best to obey You. I don’t even consider dating people from other faiths, following what Scripture prescribes. Why me, God?”

Have you ever felt this way? We know that we are children of God, saved by grace, but when troubles come and we cry out to Him desperately, we feel “cheated” by life.

Being in the world but not of it, we are not immune to the effects of sin while we live on this earth. Sometimes, we may suffer because of our own actions or sin. Other times, Christians undergo suffering because of persecution for their faith and devotion to Christ. It is ironic that doing the right thing may lead to negative repercussions! But the difficult times that we go through can remind us that we are temporary sojourners in this fallen world, and we have a greater hope ahead.

“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

We may not fully understand God’s purposes for our pain and suffering. But we can find solace in the truth that He is a God who can empathize with what we go through. We have a loving God who has experienced life as a human with all its attendant sorrows and joys. We have a Savior who bore our sin as He suffered and died on a cross. He is not a distant, faraway God who does not know pain.

“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.” (Isaiah 53:3)

We need to place our trust and faith in this loving God. As incredulous as it may seem, God— our Father in heaven—has a plan and purpose for our lives. As finite humans, we may not fully understand the workings of an infinite God, but as long as we understand that He has our best interests at heart, we know we can trust Him in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. In fact, it is often by going through difficult times that we come to gain maturity, wisdom, and experience. We only need to trust God and continue to obey Him even when the going gets tough.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

As I cried out to God that evening, I felt a comforting presence fill the room, and I was reminded that I was not alone. The next two years were not easy, and it was often a struggle to obey God and yield my life to Him. By God’s grace, this season of singleness was an opportunity to draw closer to God and learn to trust Him even when friends around me reckoned me foolish for not following the ways of the world.

Through this difficult time, God has proven that His presence truly defines the blessed life. I am grateful for His providence that has since brought a fellow believer into my life. But more importantly, I am thankful that God has taught me to put my ultimate hope in Christ alone, instead of in humans or in circumstances.

Are you feeling downcast or heartbroken today? Be comforted and know that we have a loving heavenly Father who will never forsake us or leave us. Cry out to Him and trust in Him, for He has your future in His hands.

 

This article was first published in the author’s church in-house publication. This version has been edited by YMI.

A Letter to My Past Brokenhearted Self

Written By Agnes Lee, Singapore

Dear Agnes,

I know it feels like it’s the worst night of your life. Your boyfriend of two years just broke up with you. You’re crying and you’re lonely.

You never expected such a thing to happen. The both of you were so happy together. It was Christmas Eve and the both of you were supposed to attend a late night Christmas party together.

The evening started out pretty perfectly. Wayne came to your void deck, asking you to come downstairs to meet him. He presented a Christmas present to you and to your delight, it was your favorite chocolates.

But something was amiss. He was somewhat nervous and hesitant, and kept shifting his weight from foot to foot. He said he had something to tell you. You couldn’t help but feel excited. The both of you had been together for two years and many of your friends were getting engaged or married. Was he finally going to pop the question?

His next line sent your world crumbling down. He took a deep breath and said: “Can we just be friends?” You couldn’t believe your ears. You thought things between the both of you were progressing well. Why would he want a break-up now? The only thing he could say was that he felt the relationship was not heading anywhere.

You started sobbing uncontrollably. For fear of losing him, you hugged him as tightly as you could. He held you tightly too without pushing you away. But he was still firm on the break-up. The man you once saw your future with didn’t want you anymore.

In the end, he walked you to the lift like he had in the past.  Except that this time, he no longer kissed you as he said goodbye.

Back home, you silently went to bed but you could not sleep. The scene kept replaying in your mind as you cried yourself to sleep. Wayne, your first boyfriend, was now officially your ex-boyfriend. You were afraid to tell your parents about the break-up because they liked him. Your future seemed bleak—it seemed as though you were on your own from that night onwards.  It was your darkest night.

My dear Agnes, will you allow me to hold your hands in the dark night and bring you to someone who will never forsake you or let you down?  That person loves you very much and He wants to be a part of your life. I would not be where I am, in this position to encourage you today if not for Jesus’ faithfulness to me.

I know you are feeling afraid and uncertain of the future. But He promised that He will be with us, He will never leave us to face dark nights alone (Deut 31:8) and our future is directed by Him (Proverbs 16:9).

I know you are feeling rejected by Wayne. But the God who says not to be afraid because He will never to leave us nor forsake us is also the God who chooses us to be His people to declare His praises (1 Peter 2:9-10), and will not drive us away (John 6:37).

I know that you are feeling confused over what is happening.  You haven’t found any proper closure. It ended so abruptly. You are feeling so lost that you don’t even mind if you lose your life. But can I urge you to trust in God’s promises for your life? God says in Romans 8:28 that all things—whether our joys or our sufferings—work together for our good. He has a purpose for our pain and suffering.

God has allowed this to happen as part of His plan so that He can lead you to your future husband. And when you meet your husband in the future, God will reveal to you more of Himself through your marriage. You will see that His faithful hands have always been on your side.

Will you trust your future with Him?

 

 

With God’s Love,

Your Future Self