By Benedict, Singapore
“Hear my prayer, O Lord,
And give ear to my cry;
Do not be silent at my tears;
For I am a stranger with You;
A sojourner, as all my fathers were.
Remove Your gaze from me, that I may
Before I go away and am no more.”
We, like David, often seem to be in a spiritual turmoil. On one hand, we feel estranged from God and yet on the other hand, we feel that God is too close for comfort.
Why do we feel estranged from a loving God? Is it because our God distances Himself from us? More often than not, as we search ourselves, we would discover that it is not due to proximity but because we don’t understand God’s ways, or at least not sufficiently enough to make us comfortable. God is always Emmanuel (“God with us”), but He is not a God who thinks like us. We just can’t grasp the higher ways of God. Whenever we can, that is God’s grace.
And when God disciplines us, we would rather that He “remove (His) gaze from (us).” He is too close for comfort. We like status quo because change is uncomfortable. We like to remain in our comfort zone because sanctification is painful.
I personally had days when “why” was the main conversation-word between me and God. I feel that God should have spoken by now and changed the landscape of my circumstance and yet He is deafeningly silent about the trials and tribulations He has allowed in my life. I feel His “gaze” (which burns me, sometimes, because He is ultimately the refining fire) upon me. How do I deal with these feelings?
The answer? David gave it in verse 7. He asks, “And now, Lord, what do I wait for?” And he replies, “My hope is in You.”
We ask “why” because we feel anxious or even hopeless about the outcomes of our situations, so much so that we might wonder if God’s good purpose for us is being fulfilled through them. And yet, when you and I can’t comprehend the good will of God, we could still make Him our hope—our sure expectation of good. Because, God equals good.
He will never disappoint.