Book Review: I KISSED DATING GOODBYE by Joshua Harris

By Priskila Dewi Setyawan, Indonesia

The book I Kissed Dating Goodbye discusses biblical perspectives on relationships that honor the Lord. If we adopt a wrong attitude toward relationships, God will not be pleased. Engaging in frivolous and one-off relationships with random people can seem adventurous and maybe even fun to some, but the Bible clearly states the folly of sex before marriage. “For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God” (Ephesians 5:5 NIV).

The price we have to pay if we engage in open relationships is: to be denied any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Joshua Harris uses lessons taught in the Word of God to encourage us to commit to having a relationship that builds on mutual trust and understanding, as well as to keep our hearts, emotions, lips, and bodies pure in order to please Christ.

Joshua Harris divides his book into 4 parts:

The first part talks about how we can avoid defective dating and reinforces the idea of commitment in a relationship.

The second section teaches us about the true definition of love and how we can strive to achieve purity in our relationships. He states that in order for healthy relationships to take place, we need to practice purity, patience and commitment, coupled with Christ’s mercy. We should not pursue members of the opposite sex just for fun. Instead, we should have pure intentions when building friendships with them.

Next, he expounds on how we can build a new lifestyle and get back on track with God’s plans for our life.

Lastly, the fourth and final part teaches us how to look ahead in our relationships towards the end goal of marriage and what qualities we should look for in a life partner.

From this book, I was reminded that our Lord is the most significant one in our life. Even when we have a boyfriend or girlfriend, he or she cannot, and should not take the place of God in our hearts. He possesses 100 percent of our heart, mind, and body and they are to be used for His Kingdom’s cause.

I have learned that true love is more beautiful and precious than short-term infatuation and that we should not date carelessly if we are not ready to get married. It is important to guard our hearts against impurity and from disobeying the Lord’s will so as to keep others and ourselves from being hurt.

“Having a girlfriend was no longer my greatest need. Knowing and obeying Him was. I wanted to please Him in my relationships even if it meant looking radical and foolish to other people—even if it meant kissing dating goodbye.” —Joshua Harris

I Kissed Dating Goodbye is useful for anyone who seeks to understand more about glorifying God and on how to love others.

6 replies
  1. Steve240
    Steve240 says:

    You might find my blog of interest where I critique Josh Harris’s book.
    I Kissed Dating Goodbye: Wisdom or Foolishness?

    Unfortunately Josh Harris is quick to point out the problems with dating but reluctant to share any of the problems with his approach.

    Hope this helps.

    • Weng Ern
      Weng Ern says:

      i guess this book is not an end or answers to every single situation or question we will face in relationships and our dealings with people. this book are just some of the underlying principles that maybe we can apply in our relationships… a lot of it are open suggestions which depends on how we interpret the author…

      i Guess that This area of relationship also depends largely on how the Holy Spirit convicts each one of us as we read His word 🙂 as the final thing that we should bear in mind is, whether we are bringing glory to Him =)

      just my thoughts…

  2. Priskila Dewi Setyawan
    Priskila Dewi Setyawan says:

    You should read books entitled When God Writes Your love Story, Passion and Purity, Lady in Waiting.Those books are very good and have radical principles. I like it all.
    In my opinion, people must not have relationship or dating with someone or many people from the opposite sex randomly just to get experiences.
    If people meet just for romance, they do not both glorify the Lord and love others honestly.
    People can understand other’s characters by hanging out and having activities together in group of pure friendship, not in exclusive dating.
    In my perspective, two people from the opposite sex can have relationship or courtship during one or two years before the marriage after God convinces their hearts by His Words, prayers, family, and Godly friends.resiko
    Well,the decision is up to the readers’ responses including you. However, I choice to follow the principles that can guide my heart and glorify my God, no matter how big the risk.

  3. Priskila Dewi Setyawan
    Priskila Dewi Setyawan says:

    I agree with Weng Ern.As I stated before,responses are based on readers’ perspectives.
    Glorifying the Lord and loving others purely must be main goals of every relationship,not just getting other’s heart.
    The Truth of God’s Words,prayers,Godly friends and family can convince the Godly courtship.Let God writes whole of our life story.
    b(^.^)d.GB us all.

  4. JD K.
    JD K. says:

    So, basically, if I decide to rekindle an acquaintance with a lady I knew 20 years ago, I’m going to Hell?


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