One of those days

By Megan Low, Australia

Woke up this morning feeling incomplete, discouraged and extremely lousy. I was thinking about my inabilities.

I do not know how to share the gospel in my primary language, or speak a second fluently. I am not good at drawing. I can’t read music. I can only play the drums. But who plays the drums solo? Who records drumbeats only? No one writes solo music pieces for drums. Moreover, I was told that my writing did not meet the expected standard—and all along, I have always thought that I write well. I felt useless.

But I know, in every situation we have two choices. We can choose to rebel against God by questioning His will in our circumstances, or we can trust that He knows what is best for us and will use these circumstances to mold us to His likeness. For some people grow closer to God through trials, and I know I am one. When I realize that I can’t depend on my own human strength, it is then that I know I must lean on God’s.

Then I boarded the train to go to work. It was so packed that I felt like I was in a can. I didn’t feel any better at work. I felt like a robot that was supposed to churn out whatever was and is expected of me. No one seems to care about how I am and what I think. They just want me to do what they say.

This struggle isn’t new to me. It threatens me on bad days like today and consumes me when I am not doing well. I want to be recognized for what I have to offer, and not be remembered for what I cannot do. I want to know that I am alive and human, and that my life can mean something to someone. I want to be loved, listened to, and recognized as someone with the power to make a difference. I want to know that someone cares about me, and that I matter to someone. I want to know that I can really make a positive difference despite my failings and weaknesses. I want to know that God can use me.

According to the world’s standard, if we do not succeed at something, especially what we like to do, then we are a failure. But I know better. Life for us is to build our relationship with God whose love does not depend on what we can or cannot do. The most wonderful thing is that God’s love does not change.

Casting Crowns wrote a song called “Praise You in This Storm” which takes its inspiration from Psalm 121:1-2, “I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Yes, amidst the inner turmoil, I can praise Him because He is my Help. In His unfailing love, I find strength for each new day.

24 replies
  1. Hope
    Hope says:

    This is how I’ve felt for sometime now. I’m just glad to know that I am never alone in my feelings. The only thing is that we don’t stay there; we just visit. While visiting something takes place. We don’t know when or how it just does. It never takes you to the place of turning back to sin; that’s a POWERFUL THING (but GOD)you’re in a place of wonderment[if there is such a word]. But in the end you come out like pure gold. Thank you for your transparency of this life.

    Reply
    • Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3
      Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3 says:

      Hey Hope,
      It’s a few days on, how are you going?
      I can tell you I’m just as glad to knew I’m never alone either. It’s true, all things work together for those God loves, good or otherwise. Praying that you’ll never give Him up, Hope!
      My pleasure, and God’s.
      –writer of the article

  2. Greg
    Greg says:

    Thanks for your honesty. I think we all have days like that and feel the exact same way. It seems that when we personalize our limitedness we may be tempted to limit God. But when we look at God, our limits are influenced by His unlimitedness.

    Reply
    • Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3
      Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3 says:

      Hi Greg,
      No worries. I think so too. Thanks for the encouragement– I found that so helpful!

  3. gardenia58
    gardenia58 says:

    Wow… I am in the same boat…unemployed for awhile now. Just daily trusting God that he has a plan for me. I know I have a history with him that he will never forsake me or leave me. I know I have good days and bad days. He is with me. Never lose hope.

    Reply
    • Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3
      Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3 says:

      You got that right: don’t lose hope! Praying for your job applications and trusting that God will send you exactly where He wants you to grow and thrive in Him!

  4. M
    M says:

    Just stumbled on this today. Also so glad to know not alone with these feelings and of the encouraging words, including the comments left above.

    Reply
  5. Lydia
    Lydia says:

    And the contrast of wanting to be recognized is inferiority, even when I am writing this! Sometimes it is so great that I feel like to run away from certain task, because it seems that I can’t even do the simplest thing.

    Psalm 121:1 is indeed one of the great reminder that we shouldn’t focus one our ability, but on God alone.

    Reply
    • Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3
      Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3 says:

      Hey Lydia,
      Remember that if and when God calls us to a task, we CAN do it. Not on our own, (no way!) but with HIS strength. So yeah, focus on Him– you know it!
      God’s blessings!

  6. JANA
    JANA says:

    Hi Megan, thanks for your blog. I am having one of those days. Well, there is no heavy storm raging right now. All is calm, but kind of eearie. It’s like I am drifting alone on a raft in a wide open ocean/sea, not knowing what is ahead. May be another storm will brew and buffet me or may be I will slowly drift to some unknown shore. But, guess what I know that with CHRIST in the vessel/raft I can smile at the storm or any strange shore. Yes, as Psalm 121:1,2 reminds us, our help comes from Lord God maker of heaven, earth, storms and strange shores. So let us look to Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. Praise God, for He promised, “..I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Matthew 28: 20b

    Reply
    • Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3
      Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3 says:

      Hi Jana,
      I know a few days have elapsed, but how are you today? As you said, Christ is our refuge, and in Him we can find peace even in the storms! Cling to Him and don’t let go, no matter what. Praying for you, that He will give you strength to face what’s ahead.
      God bless!
      Megan– writer of the article.

  7. Megan Low
    Megan Low says:

    Hi everyone! Thank you ALL for each of your most encouraging comments! If you’re having one of these days today, I’m praying for you and hoping it gets better soon!
    Don’t give up on God because He will NEVER give up on you!
    — writer of the article

    Reply
  8. min xiong
    min xiong says:

    Thank GOD,pastor pray and preach for us every sunday when we are at The Church worshipping The LORD.Prayers help us to forgive ,forget,mercy,love,help each other in difficult time or meeting difficult people,glorify GOD.Our GOD listen to prayers,Amen.GOD BLESS

    Reply
  9. Xx
    Xx says:

    Thank you for writing this(: I was feeling a little down today cause I was feeling a little inadequate and overwhelmed by the things I have to do. But your post reminded me of God who is our strength, our help, our refuge. Everything is in His hands, we just have to trust Him and have a little faith(:

    Reply
    • Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3
      Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3 says:

      Glad to know you too were encouraged. Happy to be of use by God any day! Keep trusting in Him! 🙂

  10. Obadiah Lamshwa Lamare
    Obadiah Lamshwa Lamare says:

    Dear Megan,
    Firstly, i would like to point out that when people say that your writing did not meet a certain standard, you have to be clear what is that standard. Is it the standard you were aiming for or is it an alien one. Regardless of that, i do not think you do not write well. Honestly, you have driven home points that have enriched everyone who has read this article and you have certainly been a blessing and an encouragement to me. Secondly, referring to this particular article, you have done something that is almost an extinct practise nowadays, whether it be in writings or music or anything else, you were incredibly Honest and that makes it an exclusive and rare addition to the few honest things encountered this year.Thirdly, and may i say, most importantly, is the fact that you look forward to sharing and to spreading the Gospel. So in more ways than one, you are a Christian Soldier and a Christian Beacon in a world engulfed in fear and darkness, and in need of rescue. The best thing that i could say, however, is that there is great joy in knowing that our Heavenly Father looks not for Ability but for AVAILABILITY! He seeks vessels who are empty so He can fill, and He is pleased to work through them His Righteous, most favourable and rescue ready WILL!!
    God bless you and keep you till we meet in a much brighter world, with rich greens, smiling faces, wonderful drops, fresh breaths and pristine sounds all around, the world when our Lord Returns and Reigns Eternal! JESUS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND AND NOTHING, I MEAN NOTHING, CAN EVER CHANGE THAT!
    Love and Hugs and Breezy times ahead and always!! 😀

    Reply
    • Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3
      Megan Low/L0uD.Gr4c3 says:

      Dear Obadiah,
      (Where have you been, fellow commenter? I’ve missed you! 😛 ) How are things in your corner of the world?
      Firstly, the standard I didn’t meet wasn’t what i was originally aiming for; but I do see now that it was a better one. Am now really glad that the person said what they did to me, because now I can improve on it– not just as a writer, but also as a person. In fact I’m sure that I already have. There is, of course, always room for more. 🙂
      Thank YOU for your encouragement and being a blessing TO ME yourself, for commenting, and sharing that I have been one to you and others.
      Secondly, a good friend once said to me that they thought honesty was one, if not the most, important thing in a relationship. I’ve learnt to value it like never before, and overjoyed that so many others, especially you, can be encouraged by it.
      Thirdly, while my heart longs to tell others about Jesus, that they may be saved, the message has a terrible habit of getting stuck in my throat, or at my wrist if I’m trying to write about it. I know that this needs to change, and soon. I’ll be working on this, with God’s help and your prayers, if you will.
      Too right! There IS great joy in knowing God is for us, with us and in us, and that He CAN and will use anyone who is willing. It really is wonderful to know that Jesus is my best friend, yesterday, today and forever, unchangeably.
      Would really like to see you in the flesh before our lives end, but if God decides otherwise and doesn’t grant us that opportunity, praying that He will generously shower His rich and abundant blessings on you until then!
      Love (both God’s and mine) always!! 😀

      PS. Internet is down at my place for the time being, and the service providers say they don’t know when the issue will be resolved. Until then, I’m on a USB modem. Hopefully they can fix it soon! Maybe you could join me in praying, so I can get back online and to serious work when it’s up again…
      Anything I can pray for you about?

  11. Obadiah Lamshwa Lamare
    Obadiah Lamshwa Lamare says:

    Dear Megan,
    Fellow traveller, i am doing fine (nestled here in the Northeastern part of India, in the cool and green hill station of Meghalaya)…thank you. All thanks to the Grace of Christ and His Love that chases away fears,that i am able to stand in midst of storms. I am glad to hear (or rather read) about how you have been encouraged to move on ahead despite the many hurdles that come your way. You remind us of learning and ever learning and learning still, and i know that God has led you in every step of the way and it is He who is your support and strength. ALL THE GLORY TO HIM!! 🙂 I am not one fit to instruct anyone, for i need instruction still, but my heart knows and the mind is reminded of the truth that Satan is lurking and is on the hunt, to pull each one of us down and to drag us down. I know, by the Grace of God, that you are a blessing and you are a wonderful agent of His Heavenly Majesty…and therefore i know that you are in Satan’s hitlist and his sights. i pray for you in my weakness, but at the back of my mind i am sure the enemy can never even harm a fibre of your hair and i know that the Love of Christ will make sure you stand and stay strong.
    i don’t have much, only my wishes and more preciously my prayers that you will do more than fine and that you will always be brave ’cause He is always with you!
    The day when we meet in the flesh will definitely be an amazing time, i have met your words and been blessed, it will be a great privilege to meet the beacon who has shed the light. God bless and keep you till we meet! Love (yes, God’s and mine), hugs and wonderful times ahead! 😀

    P.S:i do need your prayers, i need to stay strong in midst of my Atheistic and Agnostic teachers and professors…they are a few of the most brilliant, honest and gentle people i know, but they do not know the Lord!
    Wish you all the best, with the Internet issue…and looking forward to read your next article whenever it may come up!:D

    Reply
  12. Megan Low
    Megan Low says:

    Dear Obadiah,
    Glad to hear you are surviving the storms! Not fit to instruct anyone? Neither am I! Just sharing what I’ve learnt with others, that’s all. By the grace of God and Him alone! Thank you for your prayers, and for even more encouragement. In our weaknesses He is strong, so take heart! I will be brave in knowing that you (and min xiong I bet) are praying for me, and of course in knowing that He is always with me! I know that He who began a work in you will see it through to completion, and that all things work together for those who love our Lord– a trait i can see so clearly in you! I will pray for you in whatever state I might be in, yet I will not forget that our God who sustains those who trust in Him has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, whatever you may be facing now and in the future!
    Rich and abundant blessings from God’s love and mine!

    P.S: I will be praying for you to stay strong in Christ, that though your teachers and professors do not yet know our God, they will be inspired to seek Him for themselves! Internet has been fixed, thanks for praying, and I think my next article will be appearing shortly! There are many good other articles you could and should also take a look at in the mean time! 😀

    Reply

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