What if God Takes Away My Gift?
I love writing poems. It’s my way of expressing my feelings, thoughts, and frustrations. My very first poem was about a girl (as you may already have guessed). She was someone I had admired from afar but never dared to approach. Poetry gave me an outlet to pour out the deepest feelings of my heart and soul, and helped me come to terms with what I was going through.
Through the years, I have written many poems about different facets of my life. I felt that God had blessed me with the gift of poetry. But lately, I’ve been finding it difficult to write poems with ease, which led me to wonder: Have I run out of inspiration? Or worse, am I losing my gift?
That thought troubled me deeply. At times, I found myself trying to come up with something as I listened to music—anything that I could call poetry. But nothing came. I started to wonder what artists did to prepare for grand performances and how writers of popular songs always seemed to be able to come up with wonderful music. I also began to ask myself questions like: How can I get more inspiration? What had inspired me in the past?
The questions finally led me to bigger questions: Had writing poetry become so important to me because it defined who I was? Did I feel I needed to come up with more poems because people expected me to? When did something that started as a way of expressing myself turn into something that I needed to do, upkeep, and believe in?
Then the answer dawned upon me: in itself, poetry did not matter in the grand scheme of things. Instead, what really mattered was how God wanted me to use whatever He had given me at the present time for His glory. The musician who started off as a performer, for example, may over time feel that he wants to move into teaching others to appreciate music. His roots in music are still there, but the way he manifests his gift may evolve.
But what if the same musician loses a limb or his eyesight, and is no longer able to perform or even teach? In times like these, we can only rely wholly on our Almighty Lord and trust that He has a purpose and that He will continue to work in our lives. Job is a good example. When God allowed him to be stripped of everything he had, Job recognized that all he had was from the Lord and refused to curse God and die, even though his wife told him to. Instead, he came humbly before God and proclaimed: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”(Job 1:21)
In my case, I no longer write as much poetry as I used to. Instead, I express myself in other ways, such as through writing articles, and leading and mentoring others—things that I would never have imagined doing 10 to 15 years ago. And while I do not know the future and where the Lord will lead me, I say this with confidence: There is always a purpose for everything, and in everything a purpose the Lord has made.
Empty of inspiration and thought,
Head down as I pondered on this,
Eyes closed as I prayed to God,
What have I not seen or missed?
Empty of all that I had in my gifts,
I could not help but believe in this,
That whatever comes of my lot,
I chose to walk believing in God.
I feel u bro last year I came to the conclusion that my time on the web sharing on various sites had come to an end I began questioning the time I had spent on Facebook … had it really made any impact those six years of preaching the gospel … then I asked a similar QN about my writing career which to me was simply a form of thought expression …. been at it for four years but in total since I was in my twenties …. now am 35 yrs old and I see no purpose in continuing in either activity ….. made me QN if my gifts have really made the impact I thought it would or has it been all a complete waste of my time ????? still feel lost there and am grappling with a lot of ideas that want to come out but I feel I have come to the end of my ministry …. now I have to figure out how best to spend my waking moments !!!
I feel like I’ve come to the end of my time on the net esp on Christian websites …. I’ve been trying to focus peoples attention to the Christ and to the holy bible for 8 yrs and I’ve got no good news for all my efforts …. no one has ever said my posts or my writing which ave posted on various sites … Facebook my on my previous emails and on WordPress have drawn guys to seek Jesus …. I feel like ave wasted so much time trying to persuade folk …. maybe my message wasn’t relevant to my audience … I’ve been asking myself whether my gifts have been for naught ever since I discovered my talent in my early 20s …. I’m telling myself that I can’t waste another 8 yrs telling folk stuff they already know for themselves !!!
Hi Sammy,
Thank you for writing to me, I know how you feel. Times like these we may feel like there is no point, why are we “hitting our heads on the wall” when it doesn’t even make a dent. I’ve had those feelings before and recently a pastor friend of mine had also shared similar frustrations as yourself.
I have no answer, but I know this to be true. Our Lord is sovereign and He is the one to effect change and not us, we are the ones who “plant the seeds and water them”, but God is the one who grows them. I am much encouraged by this passage from 1 Corinthians 3:5-9. That our purpose is to continue to share, teach and live the gospel even when it seems like we are not making any headway because God is the one to see it through.
Set your sights on Heaven Sammy and continue to read God’s word and pray on how you can use your gifts in other ways if not writing or preaching. We all have our doubts and struggles but it is how we respond that matters. I chose to respond by trusting in God and persisting in it (be it my writing or cell group leading). I am not sure if what I do will eventually bear fruit but neither am I overly concerned about it as long as I know that what I am doing is pleasing to God. To this day I continue to have doubts but it is God who watches over me and keeps me until the day I stand before Him.
So in this Sammy, I will pray for you and hope you will take heart and continue to fight the good fight! God bless.
Thank you for sharing these ponderings. By ‘coincidence’ (Although i dont believe God is in the coincidence business), i came across Your blog here. Your writings could have been mine. I have been a writer for as long as i remember. And suddenly i saw my pen dry up.. for over two, three years now.. still not sure what He was and is preparing me for..
Hi Sara, I give thanks that what I wrote 4 years ago is still being used by God today. Indeed our God is not in the coincidence business, oddly enough I too found myself in the last week pondering (again) what God is preparing me for and came to read a book by Kevin DeYoung who wrote 3 things he tries to do in his life:
1) To faithfully preach the Word of God.
2) To love and lead his family.
3) To be happy and holy in Jesus Christ.
The last line is the one that struck me, in all that we do, are we taking joy in God and growing in our holiness through it? I started asking why am I doing what I am doing, and it occurred to me that perhaps God is leading me to lay my trust in Him even if I cannot see it now. That’s my own personal experience and not sure if it helps you in any way, but know that I am praying that God leads you through the struggle you are facing, and through it lead you to what He has planned for your life.
God bless.